How to attract men. The big topic I coach women on, and is something that I’m asked almost daily! So I’ve decided to let you in on some of the secrets that will be sure to help you in the future.

 

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Did you know that it takes someone 7 seconds to decide what they think of you? Scary..? Not at all. I want you to see it as a chance to be playful. Want the secrets..? Let’s begin.

#1 Posture

Your posture affects everything! How you feel, how you look, and how you are perceived. If you are slouching for example, this can show that you are lacking in confidence. It can also hide your personality and the ability to have fun! Not a good thing when you are trying to attract someone.

When you are out with friends and make your entrance into a bar, it’s the way you walk and hold yourself that people notice. I love the way Anne Hathaway holds herself. She has that effortless natural confidence that I want you to adopt. The red carpet posture that stands out a mile!

From the picture below, you can see the affect posture has. Take a look at the woman with bad posture and its message that she’s projecting. Now take a look at the woman with a good posture. What message is she projecting? It’s the quiet natural confidence that is so attractive. I bet you are sitting up in your seat now! Be conscious of the way you stand, sit and walk, you can even have a practice in front of a mirror and correct your posture if you are not happy with it.

 

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#2 Body language

Now you understand the importance of having a good posture, it’s now time to learn how to use your body!!! Your body language projects across any room, so its important that you understand the basic secrets behind it.

Upper body: Open up your body language by subtly pushing out your chest. Feel as if you have a soft beam of light coming from your chest, projecting towards the person you have your eye on: friends, the barman or perhaps the man you already have your eye on. This body language causes the chin to lift giving the look of a longer neck. It is very approachable, relaxed and confident.

 

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#3 Mirroring

Mirroring is something you can use for every scenario in life as it is a great way to subconsciously build a rapport with the person opposite you. I especially love to use this technique for meeting people and dating. Pick a couple of his body language poses, it will give him an indication that you like him. And it can be as subtle as you want it to be! This is something I actually did when I first met my now husband and it worked like a charm! He lent on the bar and smiled at me, I copied him which made him smile even more. It’s playful and cheeky.

 

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#4 Use your eyes

Your eyes are the key to your soul! Having strong eye contact shows that you have confidence and you are not afraid to show people who you are. Quite a few of my clients feel unsure of how long to look at someone and feel very self conscious maintaining eye contact.

 

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Little tip: when engaging with someone, look at the detail of their eyes. The eye colour and size of their pupils for example. You can practice this when at work and talking to friends: learning how long to engage in order to strike an interest, meanwhile holding conversation or listening to what the other person is saying. It may feel at first like your trying to rub your tummy and tap your head… but once fully congruent, it’s amazing how people will want to listen to your every word, getting lost in you.

 

#5 Smile

Smiling is infectious and is one of the prettiest qualities of a woman. When I’m out training women in a bar, I ask them to point out how many women are trying to do the sexy pouty look, how many are happy and smiley, and what is attracting the most attention. It’ll always be the woman smiling and genuinely enjoying herself that will draw attention. It’s the fun loving girl next door quality that men love and will always go for!

 

Three young women drinking cocktails at bar, laughing

 

 

The body language to avoid…

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Shielding: Crossing your arms, biting your nails, holding your drink in front of your body and anything that acts as a shield will keep people away. It may be that you do this because you are shy but it gives the impression that you don’t want to be approached or have attention. It can also look moody. Put the obstacles down and open up your body language and see the difference it makes!

 

#6 What you wear is important

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Knowing what Fashion Styles compliment you and your shape is so important. Do you know what really suits you? Here are the basic rules to follow:

  • Wear what you feel most sexy and elegant in. Take into consideration the colours, style and most importantly the fit. When you wear clothes that so not fit properly, you fidget. Men will pick up on this and it is not attractive to see a woman pulling the skirt down constantly or pulling up the top for example.
  • Express who you are: wear something that shows who you are without having to speak. Look at the image below. You can see that this woman has confidence and isn’t afraid to wear bright colours to stand out. It’s a classy, strong yet unassuming outfit that will get more attention than a woman wearing less, leaving very little to the imagination.

 

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  • Enjoy looking mysterious by wearing an outfit that doesn’t give too much of your body away. When it comes to attracting the right attention from a man, less is definitely not more! Never wear something that shows off your boobs and legs, it unfortunately makes you look (dare I say it) easy! Always one or the other.
  • Wear shoes that make you feel sexy. You can dress up most outfits with a good pair of heels, and lets face it… men love women in heels!
  • Wear sexy underwear. This is something just for you to feel sexy, being the only one that knows whats going on underneath. Don’t go out in the Bridget Jones knickers, it does affect how you feel about yourself. Be comfortable but wear the underwear that gives you that cheeky attractive and slightly naughty smile.

 

#7 And finally… smell amazing!

You are probably thinking I’m nuts for saying this… but think about how you feel when you’ve just sprayed your favourite perfume. You feel fresh and sexy and this will project through your body language. The other benefit is that others will smell how incredible you smell and be drawn to you for that reason.

Next blog: How to talk to men in a bar

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